A Fragment: The Modern Misanthrope

Note: This was an assignment for my Theater Analysis class from Fall 2009. The point of the assignment was to analyze what made the Misanthrope work as a play. I concluded that it takes eccentric characters and a drama of everyday life. It ends at the point it does because the teacher required it to be a rewrite of at least a page and a half. The book was in small print arranged in a two column structure but the line count is still the same. Keep in mind this is my first attempt at a rhyme pattern--please be kind.

The Modern Misanthrope

By: Crystal Cook-Hodges

Based on "The Misanthrope" By Moliere

Cast of Characters (pertaining to this fragment)
Adrien (Alceste)
Philo (Philinte)

Time
From early morning before school

Scene
The scene throughout is a multipurpose room of the high school with a basketball goal stage right and lunch tables stage left. The team mascot--a lion--is painted on the back wall along with the school's name--Moliere High School.

Act I
The scene opens on Philo and Adrien

PHILO:
What's wrong this time?

ADRIEN:
(seated at a lunch table)
Please leave me alone.

PHILO:
Spill it.
(Adrien glances up)
Don't look at me with that tone.

ADRIEN:
Please let me be with my attitude.

PHILO:
Attitude? Your just plain rude.

ADRIEN:
I like being rude and pretending to be deaf.

PHILO:
Your bipolar moods have hit a bass clef.
We've been best friends since first grade.

ADRIEN:
(abruptly rising)
Friends? Then unfriend me from your listed parade.
I just saw upon your facebook page,
You use the word friend like you're on a stage.
I can no longer ignore the choices you've made.
You lied when you said you hated Elizabeth Jade.

PHILO:
This is all about friending most of the school?

ADRIEN:
My God, did you not read the rule?
Only friend those you like and associate the most;
Not everyone from coast to coast.
You treat them like friends on facebook;
but your friendship is like Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
You wrote loving things upon Elizabeth's wall;
Like how you agreed with her post if I recall.
Behind her back is a different story.
You called her a whore for sleeping with John Dory.
I would hate to hear what you say behind my back.
You smile with friendship while I wait for an attack.
I for one would never pretend to be their friends.
I scrutinize each friend request with a closeup lens.
I would rather hang myself than friend them insincere.
Why friend them at all in our last academic year?

PHILO:
Why do you always have to be a drama king?
You miss the point of the whole thing.
It's all about making friends you may not like or see;
But on farm town you hope they send a fruit tree.

ADRIEN:
You break the rules for gifts on your fake farm!

PHILO:
What rules? It's fun without any harm.

ADRIEN:
You speak without a thoughtful notion
that friendship comes from true devotion.

PHILO:
When someone sends me a friend request
I accept it without a thought of protest.
In return some like to play Mafia War.
A request I sent you but you chose to ignore.

ADRIEN:
I've never been one to give into pop culture.
I can tell now you pick it up like a vulture.
I keep my page clean, unlike you,
to show potential colleges that may view,
I'm into my school work and not idol games.
You will find no pictures of earthly shames,
or find links to Youtube's popular posts.
I have only two friends who I keep close
and I became a fan of Harvard University you know.
This has always been the place I wanted to go.
Colleges and jobs can see all these things
and judge you by the threaded strings
that link you to what makes or breaks your future.
A wound to your soul that is hard to suture.
I see handing out friendship in the same way.
Why friend people you rather betray?
Friending everyone is like a bad cliche.
It gets used over and over until we're lead astray
by idiots who just want you to play.
Leaving requests for hugs and quizzes that carry away
the true meaning of friendship I hold so dear.
A false sense of friendship that I can see clear.
I feel this social media has eaten your brain.
Friending everyone who requests is utterly insane.

PHILO:
The point of facebook is to network with friends,
but I do see the point you defend.

ADRIEN:
Why would I need to network at all?
To allow them access to my wall?
My friendship comes without a mask.
Friending everyone would be a disagreeable task.
I've seen these people's retarded posts.
I will never allow my wall to be their host.

PHILO:
I've had a few that has left me confused
but I considered the source, so they were excused.
You can't judge people for their posts alone
sometimes their intents are clearly unknown.
It's the same as a book when you look at its cover.
You have to open it up to find the plot to discover.
Most of their pictures are the same from our year book.
You wouldn't judge them by how they look.

ADRIEN:
Yes, I would.

PHILO:
Then you would tell Mrs. Wright it's pathetic
that her photo shopped picture looks really synthetic.
Smudging the wrinkles can't erase her age.

ADRIEN:
I would.

PHILO:
And you would tell Dora upon her facebook page
she should have invested into acne cream
in an attempt to help build her self esteem?

ADRIEN:
Pricisely.

PHILO:
You're joking

ADRIEN:
Haven't you heard the truth shall set you free?
True--judging them by their looks is a bit extreme
but from their facebook this where colleges critique.
A picture can replace the written words we speak
but what does it say when others view?
Slutty clothes may not show the real you.
What does it say about those who add you to their page?
Least we forget the world is a stage.
Judging us for our actions and friends
leaving our social connections at odds and ends.