Things I Missed Out On Because I Was Born Without a Penis

I am a strong willed woman who has strong opinions on how women should be treated. Yet, I feel if I had a penis searching for a job would be a hell of a lot easier. I might actually get an interview then a job. I heard a woman on TV say the glass ceiling has been shattered but I feel that any holes made by previous women have been sealed shut and those women are walking around on the glass thumbing their noses at me. This made me think of all the things I missed out on in life because I was born without a penis.

Camping would be easier if I had a penis. No more bearing and sharing in the woods--I could just haul it out and take a leak. Hell guys can even relieve themselves into a bottle if they wish.

I could step onto a car lot and the sales person would automatically come to me because I had a penis which means I am assertive enough to purchase a car. In my relationship I earn all the money but I have to take my husband with me not to make the deal but to get a sales person to talk to me. I love it when they talk the car up big to my husband then to swoop in for the kill I shoot down their offer with my own. The good sales people will ignore the mannequin that is anatomically correct and speak to the woman who can weld and deal despite the lack of penis.

Every time I apply for a job it lists must lift, the ability to sit and stand, and push objects. This says to me: "Sorry, we are looking for an individual that possesses a penis and not a prosthesis that you purchased to feel like a man." I'm not a petite woman with a waist that could snap off like a match stick. I grew up learning to pull my own and according to what I've read and heard on TV I am an average sized woman for the United States. I can hold my own for the most part--I'm not a weakling. If a penis is what they want then it should say so in the ad. Screw the law let's just get frank with each other.

The penis does nothing but relieve the bladder, get erect, and impregnate. Why does possessing one get your foot in the door? Why--because if you have one your mind will not be preoccupied with baby crap. You will be able to walk around thinking of only yourself and not of the alien pod child that feel out of a hole. With a penis you can focus on work and work alone. All other people in your life disappear once you enter your horizontal transporter--AKA the man mobile--and head down the highway to the blissful job obtained from just the fact you have a penis.

I have missed out on pissing my name into the snow, getting higher wages for doing the same job, and being seen as a capable individual because I was born without a penis. The lack of a hideous cylinder shaped flap of skin has ruined my life. I could be earning enough money to support my family but I was born with a vagina instead. I will never submit to a sex change operation so I will continue to struggle on.