Dear Student Loans,
I have noticed in your letters that you've been brunching with Accrued Interest increasing the amount I can't afford to an even higher amount. I know that the deal I signed said I would pay the amount borrowed along with the interest but I also thought I would have a job by now. A government that gave a break to the auto industry can't help those of us trying to find our American dream. I'm not saying to eliminate Accrued Interest completely just trim it down to half on just student loans--I mean you.
I have been trying for two years to find a job that pays double what I'm paid now. I know $30,000 a year is not a whole lot of money but to me it would a tremendous win fall. I would be able to pay my bills, take care of my four children, and lower to down in amount student loan. Yes, that would mean the honeymoon with accrued interest would be over because you will be see him less and less. It's a closet dream right now but it's the only dream that riddles my every thought.
I will pay you off someday and our relationship of debt and debtor will also end. This economy will pick up bringing the jobs that people in my similar situation have been praying for. Mark my words Student Loans your going down.
A soon to be empowered borrower,
Crystal Cook
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A Fragment: The Modern Misanthrope
Note: This was an assignment for my Theater Analysis class from Fall 2009. The point of the assignment was to analyze what made the Misanthrope work as a play. I concluded that it takes eccentric characters and a drama of everyday life. It ends at the point it does because the teacher required it to be a rewrite of at least a page and a half. The book was in small print arranged in a two column structure but the line count is still the same. Keep in mind this is my first attempt at a rhyme pattern--please be kind.
The Modern Misanthrope
By: Crystal Cook-Hodges
Based on "The Misanthrope" By Moliere
Cast of Characters (pertaining to this fragment)
Adrien (Alceste)
Philo (Philinte)
Time
From early morning before school
Scene
The scene throughout is a multipurpose room of the high school with a basketball goal stage right and lunch tables stage left. The team mascot--a lion--is painted on the back wall along with the school's name--Moliere High School.
Act I
The scene opens on Philo and Adrien
PHILO:
What's wrong this time?
ADRIEN:
(seated at a lunch table)
Please leave me alone.
PHILO:
Spill it.
(Adrien glances up)
Don't look at me with that tone.
ADRIEN:
Please let me be with my attitude.
PHILO:
Attitude? Your just plain rude.
ADRIEN:
I like being rude and pretending to be deaf.
PHILO:
Your bipolar moods have hit a bass clef.
We've been best friends since first grade.
ADRIEN:
(abruptly rising)
Friends? Then unfriend me from your listed parade.
I just saw upon your facebook page,
You use the word friend like you're on a stage.
I can no longer ignore the choices you've made.
You lied when you said you hated Elizabeth Jade.
PHILO:
This is all about friending most of the school?
ADRIEN:
My God, did you not read the rule?
Only friend those you like and associate the most;
Not everyone from coast to coast.
You treat them like friends on facebook;
but your friendship is like Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
You wrote loving things upon Elizabeth's wall;
Like how you agreed with her post if I recall.
Behind her back is a different story.
You called her a whore for sleeping with John Dory.
I would hate to hear what you say behind my back.
You smile with friendship while I wait for an attack.
I for one would never pretend to be their friends.
I scrutinize each friend request with a closeup lens.
I would rather hang myself than friend them insincere.
Why friend them at all in our last academic year?
PHILO:
Why do you always have to be a drama king?
You miss the point of the whole thing.
It's all about making friends you may not like or see;
But on farm town you hope they send a fruit tree.
ADRIEN:
You break the rules for gifts on your fake farm!
PHILO:
What rules? It's fun without any harm.
ADRIEN:
You speak without a thoughtful notion
that friendship comes from true devotion.
PHILO:
When someone sends me a friend request
I accept it without a thought of protest.
In return some like to play Mafia War.
A request I sent you but you chose to ignore.
ADRIEN:
I've never been one to give into pop culture.
I can tell now you pick it up like a vulture.
I keep my page clean, unlike you,
to show potential colleges that may view,
I'm into my school work and not idol games.
You will find no pictures of earthly shames,
or find links to Youtube's popular posts.
I have only two friends who I keep close
and I became a fan of Harvard University you know.
This has always been the place I wanted to go.
Colleges and jobs can see all these things
and judge you by the threaded strings
that link you to what makes or breaks your future.
A wound to your soul that is hard to suture.
I see handing out friendship in the same way.
Why friend people you rather betray?
Friending everyone is like a bad cliche.
It gets used over and over until we're lead astray
by idiots who just want you to play.
Leaving requests for hugs and quizzes that carry away
the true meaning of friendship I hold so dear.
A false sense of friendship that I can see clear.
I feel this social media has eaten your brain.
Friending everyone who requests is utterly insane.
PHILO:
The point of facebook is to network with friends,
but I do see the point you defend.
ADRIEN:
Why would I need to network at all?
To allow them access to my wall?
My friendship comes without a mask.
Friending everyone would be a disagreeable task.
I've seen these people's retarded posts.
I will never allow my wall to be their host.
PHILO:
I've had a few that has left me confused
but I considered the source, so they were excused.
You can't judge people for their posts alone
sometimes their intents are clearly unknown.
It's the same as a book when you look at its cover.
You have to open it up to find the plot to discover.
Most of their pictures are the same from our year book.
You wouldn't judge them by how they look.
ADRIEN:
Yes, I would.
PHILO:
Then you would tell Mrs. Wright it's pathetic
that her photo shopped picture looks really synthetic.
Smudging the wrinkles can't erase her age.
ADRIEN:
I would.
PHILO:
And you would tell Dora upon her facebook page
she should have invested into acne cream
in an attempt to help build her self esteem?
ADRIEN:
Pricisely.
PHILO:
You're joking
ADRIEN:
Haven't you heard the truth shall set you free?
True--judging them by their looks is a bit extreme
but from their facebook this where colleges critique.
A picture can replace the written words we speak
but what does it say when others view?
Slutty clothes may not show the real you.
What does it say about those who add you to their page?
Least we forget the world is a stage.
Judging us for our actions and friends
leaving our social connections at odds and ends.
The Modern Misanthrope
By: Crystal Cook-Hodges
Based on "The Misanthrope" By Moliere
Cast of Characters (pertaining to this fragment)
Adrien (Alceste)
Philo (Philinte)
Time
From early morning before school
Scene
The scene throughout is a multipurpose room of the high school with a basketball goal stage right and lunch tables stage left. The team mascot--a lion--is painted on the back wall along with the school's name--Moliere High School.
Act I
The scene opens on Philo and Adrien
PHILO:
What's wrong this time?
ADRIEN:
(seated at a lunch table)
Please leave me alone.
PHILO:
Spill it.
(Adrien glances up)
Don't look at me with that tone.
ADRIEN:
Please let me be with my attitude.
PHILO:
Attitude? Your just plain rude.
ADRIEN:
I like being rude and pretending to be deaf.
PHILO:
Your bipolar moods have hit a bass clef.
We've been best friends since first grade.
ADRIEN:
(abruptly rising)
Friends? Then unfriend me from your listed parade.
I just saw upon your facebook page,
You use the word friend like you're on a stage.
I can no longer ignore the choices you've made.
You lied when you said you hated Elizabeth Jade.
PHILO:
This is all about friending most of the school?
ADRIEN:
My God, did you not read the rule?
Only friend those you like and associate the most;
Not everyone from coast to coast.
You treat them like friends on facebook;
but your friendship is like Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
You wrote loving things upon Elizabeth's wall;
Like how you agreed with her post if I recall.
Behind her back is a different story.
You called her a whore for sleeping with John Dory.
I would hate to hear what you say behind my back.
You smile with friendship while I wait for an attack.
I for one would never pretend to be their friends.
I scrutinize each friend request with a closeup lens.
I would rather hang myself than friend them insincere.
Why friend them at all in our last academic year?
PHILO:
Why do you always have to be a drama king?
You miss the point of the whole thing.
It's all about making friends you may not like or see;
But on farm town you hope they send a fruit tree.
ADRIEN:
You break the rules for gifts on your fake farm!
PHILO:
What rules? It's fun without any harm.
ADRIEN:
You speak without a thoughtful notion
that friendship comes from true devotion.
PHILO:
When someone sends me a friend request
I accept it without a thought of protest.
In return some like to play Mafia War.
A request I sent you but you chose to ignore.
ADRIEN:
I've never been one to give into pop culture.
I can tell now you pick it up like a vulture.
I keep my page clean, unlike you,
to show potential colleges that may view,
I'm into my school work and not idol games.
You will find no pictures of earthly shames,
or find links to Youtube's popular posts.
I have only two friends who I keep close
and I became a fan of Harvard University you know.
This has always been the place I wanted to go.
Colleges and jobs can see all these things
and judge you by the threaded strings
that link you to what makes or breaks your future.
A wound to your soul that is hard to suture.
I see handing out friendship in the same way.
Why friend people you rather betray?
Friending everyone is like a bad cliche.
It gets used over and over until we're lead astray
by idiots who just want you to play.
Leaving requests for hugs and quizzes that carry away
the true meaning of friendship I hold so dear.
A false sense of friendship that I can see clear.
I feel this social media has eaten your brain.
Friending everyone who requests is utterly insane.
PHILO:
The point of facebook is to network with friends,
but I do see the point you defend.
ADRIEN:
Why would I need to network at all?
To allow them access to my wall?
My friendship comes without a mask.
Friending everyone would be a disagreeable task.
I've seen these people's retarded posts.
I will never allow my wall to be their host.
PHILO:
I've had a few that has left me confused
but I considered the source, so they were excused.
You can't judge people for their posts alone
sometimes their intents are clearly unknown.
It's the same as a book when you look at its cover.
You have to open it up to find the plot to discover.
Most of their pictures are the same from our year book.
You wouldn't judge them by how they look.
ADRIEN:
Yes, I would.
PHILO:
Then you would tell Mrs. Wright it's pathetic
that her photo shopped picture looks really synthetic.
Smudging the wrinkles can't erase her age.
ADRIEN:
I would.
PHILO:
And you would tell Dora upon her facebook page
she should have invested into acne cream
in an attempt to help build her self esteem?
ADRIEN:
Pricisely.
PHILO:
You're joking
ADRIEN:
Haven't you heard the truth shall set you free?
True--judging them by their looks is a bit extreme
but from their facebook this where colleges critique.
A picture can replace the written words we speak
but what does it say when others view?
Slutty clothes may not show the real you.
What does it say about those who add you to their page?
Least we forget the world is a stage.
Judging us for our actions and friends
leaving our social connections at odds and ends.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Still Searching...
How many rejection e-mails must I suffer through before I find a job that pays worth a damn?
I'm beginning to think I went to college and earned a degree that I will never be able to use. I've even been rejected for a job that only required a high school diploma. I knew finding a job was the tricky part of life but where is the silver lining everyone talks about?
If one more person says 'you should just feel lucky you have a job' I will punch them in the face. The job I have SUCKS! I'm not stupid--29 hours spread over 5 days is wasting my gas. If a person works 5 days it should be for 40 hours or close to that not 29. Politicians want to call and waste my cell phone minutes with their propaganda but they don't crack down on businesses that are making profits at the expense of their workers.
In short still searching for a job that pays better than Wal-Mart.
I'm beginning to think I went to college and earned a degree that I will never be able to use. I've even been rejected for a job that only required a high school diploma. I knew finding a job was the tricky part of life but where is the silver lining everyone talks about?
If one more person says 'you should just feel lucky you have a job' I will punch them in the face. The job I have SUCKS! I'm not stupid--29 hours spread over 5 days is wasting my gas. If a person works 5 days it should be for 40 hours or close to that not 29. Politicians want to call and waste my cell phone minutes with their propaganda but they don't crack down on businesses that are making profits at the expense of their workers.
In short still searching for a job that pays better than Wal-Mart.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I can hear you crying Detroit
What happened to our dreams?
Are they all dying?
A car in every drive,
A chicken in the oven and apple pie.
Now I’m down here in Missouri
But I can hear Detroit cry.
Their dreams are torn to sunder.
All they’re hard work lying in foreclosure.
You hear the congressmen say
The problems lie on the welfare line.
What about the jobs we rely on?
Can they guarantee those?
Congressmen show me the jobs
I’ll happily step aside right out of this line
I went to college to better myself
To give my children a better life
Where are the jobs I dreamed of?
Can you hear me Congressman?
I work at a Wal-Mart for a little more than minimum wage.
The hours keep me below the poverty line.
But they’re a big corporation
They can fire me and hire someone else the same day.
Now tell me Congressman could that be the real reason
That line grows longer every day?
I guess that money that pads your pocket
Blinds you to the truth of those who earn less than you.
I can hear you crying Detroit.
I hear you every day.
You want a hand up not a hand out.
You devoted your life for a corporation who wasn’t devoted to you.
You chased a white rabbit to a world
Where stability was masked with a living wage.
That Cheshire Cat Corporation is still smiling at your pain
Long after they’re gone.
Leaving an asphalt desert where dreams once breathed.
The cars you built were quality.
They kept me warm all those long nights
I slept in my car to afford going to college.
It at least blocked the wind
From cutting to the quick
But at the time I never thought to say thank you.
I was too busy crying
Dreaming of a better life.
Where I had a job
That paid enough to sleep in an actual bed.
I voted for a president who gave me hope
That my dreams were not dying.
He said things would get worse
Before we saw improvement
And he wasn’t lying.
Somewhere on the horizon line
We’ll all see a better day.
If our congressmen
Will meet the president at least half way.
They forget the simple man voted them into office.
We lack the funds to afford their attention.
Detroit is crying
But so is everyone else.
No one can survive on minimum wage.
Try to prove they can congressmen
By lowering your wages to that line.
Then maybe you can see
What a living wage needs to be
Just to barely get by.
I never thought the car in every drive
Would be a home to survive.
If that’s where you reside tonight
Dry the tears from your eyes
And thank Detroit for your unexpected habitat of steel.
We will all rise back up again.
While the corporations blow away in the wind.
They can never take our American pride.
It’s all we have when our homes and savings are gone.
Are they all dying?
A car in every drive,
A chicken in the oven and apple pie.
Now I’m down here in Missouri
But I can hear Detroit cry.
Their dreams are torn to sunder.
All they’re hard work lying in foreclosure.
You hear the congressmen say
The problems lie on the welfare line.
What about the jobs we rely on?
Can they guarantee those?
Congressmen show me the jobs
I’ll happily step aside right out of this line
I went to college to better myself
To give my children a better life
Where are the jobs I dreamed of?
Can you hear me Congressman?
I work at a Wal-Mart for a little more than minimum wage.
The hours keep me below the poverty line.
But they’re a big corporation
They can fire me and hire someone else the same day.
Now tell me Congressman could that be the real reason
That line grows longer every day?
I guess that money that pads your pocket
Blinds you to the truth of those who earn less than you.
I can hear you crying Detroit.
I hear you every day.
You want a hand up not a hand out.
You devoted your life for a corporation who wasn’t devoted to you.
You chased a white rabbit to a world
Where stability was masked with a living wage.
That Cheshire Cat Corporation is still smiling at your pain
Long after they’re gone.
Leaving an asphalt desert where dreams once breathed.
The cars you built were quality.
They kept me warm all those long nights
I slept in my car to afford going to college.
It at least blocked the wind
From cutting to the quick
But at the time I never thought to say thank you.
I was too busy crying
Dreaming of a better life.
Where I had a job
That paid enough to sleep in an actual bed.
I voted for a president who gave me hope
That my dreams were not dying.
He said things would get worse
Before we saw improvement
And he wasn’t lying.
Somewhere on the horizon line
We’ll all see a better day.
If our congressmen
Will meet the president at least half way.
They forget the simple man voted them into office.
We lack the funds to afford their attention.
Detroit is crying
But so is everyone else.
No one can survive on minimum wage.
Try to prove they can congressmen
By lowering your wages to that line.
Then maybe you can see
What a living wage needs to be
Just to barely get by.
I never thought the car in every drive
Would be a home to survive.
If that’s where you reside tonight
Dry the tears from your eyes
And thank Detroit for your unexpected habitat of steel.
We will all rise back up again.
While the corporations blow away in the wind.
They can never take our American pride.
It’s all we have when our homes and savings are gone.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My New Year's Resolution
Okay, last years resolution to become a high maintenance woman didn't quite work out. Namely because I have no clue what it takes to be a high maintenance individual. I was born poor, to poor parents, and it looks like I will also die poor.
This year my resolution is to finish my book and get it professionally edited so I don't look like an idiot when it gets critiqued. Getting it published is a bit too far fetched at this point. I all most have 500 pages and four more chapters to go.
I just want to say, for the record, that I don't feel getting my book published will make me rich but at least I can cross number 123 off my life list. I have a list of about 200 things I want to do before I die and I haven't crossed anything off. When I made the list in 2007 I thought I would have at least 3 crossed off by now. Who knew it would take so much money just to get to England then twice that to stay? Yes, going to England is number one on my list and I don't see getting tere in 2010 either.
Getting a professional job should be my resolution this year but is not something within my control. A resolution should always be something you can control or you waste your time and efforts trying.
This year my resolution is to finish my book and get it professionally edited so I don't look like an idiot when it gets critiqued. Getting it published is a bit too far fetched at this point. I all most have 500 pages and four more chapters to go.
I just want to say, for the record, that I don't feel getting my book published will make me rich but at least I can cross number 123 off my life list. I have a list of about 200 things I want to do before I die and I haven't crossed anything off. When I made the list in 2007 I thought I would have at least 3 crossed off by now. Who knew it would take so much money just to get to England then twice that to stay? Yes, going to England is number one on my list and I don't see getting tere in 2010 either.
Getting a professional job should be my resolution this year but is not something within my control. A resolution should always be something you can control or you waste your time and efforts trying.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
My journey for wheels
The trip to get a new vehicle started October 20 when I won my bid for a 2005 Chevy Uplander from the GSA Auctions website. My dad had found it and called to see if it was something I would like and thirty minutes before the auction closed on it I bid $4,399 to out bid the last person then sat hitting the refresh button until it closed. It values at $8,200 as is even though it is high in mileage. The insurance settled at $5,300 and for that price I got: a vehicle, 2 plane tickets to LA, gas-food-lodging, and the license for the vehicle when I returned to Missouri. Not too shabby.
I had never flown in my entire life. I had only heard stories on what to expect so I was a little nervous. We (Me and my Husband Brian) bo
arded in Kansas City and flew to Denver. The view from the window was spectacular--that is closer to Denver. I didn't get to see the inside of the main terminal in Denver that looked like tepees all in a row. We went to the United Airlines terminal. We had only a thirty minute wait between landing and take off. I ate a bagel with everything on it--toasted. I had never toasted a bagel before because they typically got stuck in my toaster and I'm not a fan of black smoke rising from a small appliance. We ate quickly then hopped on the plane and took off for LA. We landed in LA an hour and forty-five minutes after take off. It had been estimated at 2 hours and 15 minutes. The first thing we noticed was a vending machine from best buy with DSi's, PSP's, Ipod's, and car charger's for a cell phone. We stood in amazement for a moment then went to the bathroom. We knew we had to find the green line tram to get to the Metro Link headed for Norwalk. We asked one airline worker, who sent us to another airline worker, who sent us to a police officer, who directed us out of the airport to a man who directed us on where to stand. We stood waiting for about a half hour on the green line but it was worth the wait. The drive to the Metro Link was long.
When we arriv
ed at the Metro Link we first bought a ticket. It read like each stop was $1.25 so we bought an all day pass for $5. Brian looked at the long flight of stairs and almost refused to walk to the top. I forced him to go up and we waited about 15 minutes for its arrival. I kept my ticket in hand just in case they checked them later. They never did--I could have rode for free but since I like to be honest I paid. In this day and time there are things on the honor system
? Shocking but true. There were several stops along the line but we had to make it all the way to the last stop--Norwalk. I had called a man named Craig to take us to the Norwalk Auto Auction (GSA Auctions online). My dad had set it up with Craig so we didn't have to walk all that way and I'm glad. It was a long way from the Norwalk stop with the big giant bee to the auction house. Along the way I saw cardboard boxes and draped sheets that formed make-shift housing among the bushes between off ramps. I've never lived the rich life but at least I had a home. It made me wonder if that was where their dreams of becoming an actor or actress died--or maybe they had it all until they lost their house. It was saddening to see but I wish the best to those souls I never meet.
We arrived at the Norwalk Auto Auction and Craig drove us back to the van. I was happy to see it looked exactly like it did online. Craig gave us all the needed paperwork and with one stop to hand the person who checks off a car has left a paper we were gone. Brian wanted to take me down Hwy
1 but instead we drove down to a beach that had what looked like a carnival. We didn't go to the carnival but we did stop to take about 2 minutes worth of pictures. You had to pay to park at the beach but after the Metro Link I decided that $6 was a steep price to pay for 2 minutes of quick photography with a cell phone. There wasn't anyone in the guard shack so we drove over the spikes and headed east to Hwy 5. We went from Hwy 5 to Hwy 10 to Hwy 15 then to Interstate 40. I saw property for sale in the San Bernardino area and wished I had the money to buy it. It had nothing on it. It was an endless beach that lacked water but the area was gorgeous--I could live there. We switched drivers in Barstow and I drove straight to Kingman, Arizona where we stayed the night at the Hampton Inn.
My legs hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I had set my alarm for 4 am Missouri time so when it went off I was all ready up. I took a shower, packed our bags, and woke Brian up for the third time to get ready to go--he didn't want to get up but we had to get a jump start on the day if he wanted to see
the Grand Canyon. The road sign read 200 miles to the Grand Canyon as we hit the interstate at 6 am. We drove all the way to the exit for North 64. It was a 45 minute drive from the Interstate to the edge of the canyon including our stop to fuel at a gas station just before you reach the ranger station. Tip to anyone who wants to go to the canyon fuel before you get that far because they were 20 cents more per gallon compared to the stations on the interstate but we were so excited getting gas was a secondary thought. It was $25 (good for 7 days) to get into the state park then we spent 30 minutes taking as many pictures as we could. I thought I felt so small standing next to the ocean for the first time--standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon I felt like a speck of sand. It was amazing and my only wish I had as I stood there at the edge was that I wanted my children to see this. I could see all the damage the wild fires played but all was forgotten in the view. I was standing possibly in the footsteps of Teddy Roosevelt gazing out for the first time at one of the most amazing views in the world. Granted their was no railing that protected him from falling but even that can't rob you of your first view. I cried when we had to leave because I know I may never see this again. We left the canyon on 64 but decided to take 180 on the backside of Flagstaff to Interstate 40. On 180 I could see more devastation left by the fires. It left the beautiful view marred but still amazing. I saw white bark birch trees seeded into the view of vast pines. It looked like something you would see in a Bob Ross painting--they even grew with a friend next to them. Just past the white birch trees I saw the "Home of the White Buffalo"--closed and for sale. I had seen it online when I researched for my book but it was heartbreaking to know I could never see a white buffalo there. When we reached Flagstaff it was like we drove into a picture book image. The houses all had a cute cozy cottage feel. I wanted to throw away my life in Missouri and settle here. Maybe someday but I'm too poor today to live in Flagstaff. I cried leaving Flagstaff as well.
We made a pit stop in Winslow, Arizona at a Pizza Hut then at the Wal-Mart. I didn't stand on a corner but I wanted to--wait I should say I wanted to because of the country song not to offer services. The scenery looked the same until we crossed into New Mexico. I got the honor to drive into New Mexico. It was okay but when we reached Albuquerque a woman with her cell phone stuck to her ear crossed from an off ramp all the way to the car pool lane without slowing down or caring about anyone in her path. That scared me and I wanted to switch drivers but we were sitting in the center lane and I knew that was not possible. I had drove myself into the mess and I was going to drive myself out. I drove until we reached a small gas station on Route 66 where we fueled and switched drivers. Brian started singing "Amarillo by morning" and I informed him that we would reach it by midnight. We hadn't reached the Texas border when I saw the moon rising. It looked huge--bigger than I've ever seen it in Missouri then I saw something black and slender pass over the face of the moon. It took me by surprise and I watched until I saw it again. It was the propellers of a wind generator. I tried to show Brian but he was too focused on driving to notice. We reached Amarillo at 11:30 pm and we got a room at the Travel Lodge. It was a basic simple room compared to the Hampton Inn but all we planned to do was sleep. I set the alarm for 5 am and actually slept.
The next morning I got up and talked Brian into taking a shower--he smelled bad. I packed our stuff and got ready for the day. We enjoyed our complimentary breakfast and the news on the television was all about the shooting at Fort Hood the day before. I ate a toasted bagel with cream cheese while Brian got himself a bowl of cereal. We hurried and got on the road about 7 am. About an hour into driving Brian started swerving all over the road and it didn't take much to convince him to switch out drivers. I drove through the rest of Texas into Oklahoma but at about 40 miles before reaching Oklahoma City I made him switch me out. He had all ready decided to take the toll road and I told him that would be his bridge to cross.
He drove us on to Vinita, Oklahoma where a life long childhood dream was fulfilled. I got to go into the McDo
nald's over the interstate. I walked up into the restaurant and stood at the window overlooking the interstate a bit disappointed. It lacked the magic of intrigue that I had set in my mind from childhood. It was just a big stupid building over a road. I guess when you want to see something as a kid it's best to see it when your a kid. I couldn't see the amazement factor of the McDonald's but after the Grand Canyon I guess it lacked to give me the enjoyment I had built up in my mind. I still want to take my children to see it and maybe they are what the experience lacked. The innocent view of the spectacle of the McDonald's over the interstate.
The rest of the trip involved a scary and boring trip back to Kansas City to retrieve Brian's Jeep from the KCI Airport then onward home where we crashed down into our own bed to sleep. I would love to do it all again but with the children in reverse from the house to the Grand Canyon. I want to see the amazement on their faces at the view and the tears that roll down when we have to leave. Life is best experienced with an innocent lens of the world around you--take in the simple things in life you never know if you will ever live to see them again.
I had never flown in my entire life. I had only heard stories on what to expect so I was a little nervous. We (Me and my Husband Brian) bo
arded in Kansas City and flew to Denver. The view from the window was spectacular--that is closer to Denver. I didn't get to see the inside of the main terminal in Denver that looked like tepees all in a row. We went to the United Airlines terminal. We had only a thirty minute wait between landing and take off. I ate a bagel with everything on it--toasted. I had never toasted a bagel before because they typically got stuck in my toaster and I'm not a fan of black smoke rising from a small appliance. We ate quickly then hopped on the plane and took off for LA. We landed in LA an hour and forty-five minutes after take off. It had been estimated at 2 hours and 15 minutes. The first thing we noticed was a vending machine from best buy with DSi's, PSP's, Ipod's, and car charger's for a cell phone. We stood in amazement for a moment then went to the bathroom. We knew we had to find the green line tram to get to the Metro Link headed for Norwalk. We asked one airline worker, who sent us to another airline worker, who sent us to a police officer, who directed us out of the airport to a man who directed us on where to stand. We stood waiting for about a half hour on the green line but it was worth the wait. The drive to the Metro Link was long.When we arriv
ed at the Metro Link we first bought a ticket. It read like each stop was $1.25 so we bought an all day pass for $5. Brian looked at the long flight of stairs and almost refused to walk to the top. I forced him to go up and we waited about 15 minutes for its arrival. I kept my ticket in hand just in case they checked them later. They never did--I could have rode for free but since I like to be honest I paid. In this day and time there are things on the honor system
? Shocking but true. There were several stops along the line but we had to make it all the way to the last stop--Norwalk. I had called a man named Craig to take us to the Norwalk Auto Auction (GSA Auctions online). My dad had set it up with Craig so we didn't have to walk all that way and I'm glad. It was a long way from the Norwalk stop with the big giant bee to the auction house. Along the way I saw cardboard boxes and draped sheets that formed make-shift housing among the bushes between off ramps. I've never lived the rich life but at least I had a home. It made me wonder if that was where their dreams of becoming an actor or actress died--or maybe they had it all until they lost their house. It was saddening to see but I wish the best to those souls I never meet.We arrived at the Norwalk Auto Auction and Craig drove us back to the van. I was happy to see it looked exactly like it did online. Craig gave us all the needed paperwork and with one stop to hand the person who checks off a car has left a paper we were gone. Brian wanted to take me down Hwy
1 but instead we drove down to a beach that had what looked like a carnival. We didn't go to the carnival but we did stop to take about 2 minutes worth of pictures. You had to pay to park at the beach but after the Metro Link I decided that $6 was a steep price to pay for 2 minutes of quick photography with a cell phone. There wasn't anyone in the guard shack so we drove over the spikes and headed east to Hwy 5. We went from Hwy 5 to Hwy 10 to Hwy 15 then to Interstate 40. I saw property for sale in the San Bernardino area and wished I had the money to buy it. It had nothing on it. It was an endless beach that lacked water but the area was gorgeous--I could live there. We switched drivers in Barstow and I drove straight to Kingman, Arizona where we stayed the night at the Hampton Inn.My legs hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I had set my alarm for 4 am Missouri time so when it went off I was all ready up. I took a shower, packed our bags, and woke Brian up for the third time to get ready to go--he didn't want to get up but we had to get a jump start on the day if he wanted to see
the Grand Canyon. The road sign read 200 miles to the Grand Canyon as we hit the interstate at 6 am. We drove all the way to the exit for North 64. It was a 45 minute drive from the Interstate to the edge of the canyon including our stop to fuel at a gas station just before you reach the ranger station. Tip to anyone who wants to go to the canyon fuel before you get that far because they were 20 cents more per gallon compared to the stations on the interstate but we were so excited getting gas was a secondary thought. It was $25 (good for 7 days) to get into the state park then we spent 30 minutes taking as many pictures as we could. I thought I felt so small standing next to the ocean for the first time--standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon I felt like a speck of sand. It was amazing and my only wish I had as I stood there at the edge was that I wanted my children to see this. I could see all the damage the wild fires played but all was forgotten in the view. I was standing possibly in the footsteps of Teddy Roosevelt gazing out for the first time at one of the most amazing views in the world. Granted their was no railing that protected him from falling but even that can't rob you of your first view. I cried when we had to leave because I know I may never see this again. We left the canyon on 64 but decided to take 180 on the backside of Flagstaff to Interstate 40. On 180 I could see more devastation left by the fires. It left the beautiful view marred but still amazing. I saw white bark birch trees seeded into the view of vast pines. It looked like something you would see in a Bob Ross painting--they even grew with a friend next to them. Just past the white birch trees I saw the "Home of the White Buffalo"--closed and for sale. I had seen it online when I researched for my book but it was heartbreaking to know I could never see a white buffalo there. When we reached Flagstaff it was like we drove into a picture book image. The houses all had a cute cozy cottage feel. I wanted to throw away my life in Missouri and settle here. Maybe someday but I'm too poor today to live in Flagstaff. I cried leaving Flagstaff as well.We made a pit stop in Winslow, Arizona at a Pizza Hut then at the Wal-Mart. I didn't stand on a corner but I wanted to--wait I should say I wanted to because of the country song not to offer services. The scenery looked the same until we crossed into New Mexico. I got the honor to drive into New Mexico. It was okay but when we reached Albuquerque a woman with her cell phone stuck to her ear crossed from an off ramp all the way to the car pool lane without slowing down or caring about anyone in her path. That scared me and I wanted to switch drivers but we were sitting in the center lane and I knew that was not possible. I had drove myself into the mess and I was going to drive myself out. I drove until we reached a small gas station on Route 66 where we fueled and switched drivers. Brian started singing "Amarillo by morning" and I informed him that we would reach it by midnight. We hadn't reached the Texas border when I saw the moon rising. It looked huge--bigger than I've ever seen it in Missouri then I saw something black and slender pass over the face of the moon. It took me by surprise and I watched until I saw it again. It was the propellers of a wind generator. I tried to show Brian but he was too focused on driving to notice. We reached Amarillo at 11:30 pm and we got a room at the Travel Lodge. It was a basic simple room compared to the Hampton Inn but all we planned to do was sleep. I set the alarm for 5 am and actually slept.
The next morning I got up and talked Brian into taking a shower--he smelled bad. I packed our stuff and got ready for the day. We enjoyed our complimentary breakfast and the news on the television was all about the shooting at Fort Hood the day before. I ate a toasted bagel with cream cheese while Brian got himself a bowl of cereal. We hurried and got on the road about 7 am. About an hour into driving Brian started swerving all over the road and it didn't take much to convince him to switch out drivers. I drove through the rest of Texas into Oklahoma but at about 40 miles before reaching Oklahoma City I made him switch me out. He had all ready decided to take the toll road and I told him that would be his bridge to cross.
He drove us on to Vinita, Oklahoma where a life long childhood dream was fulfilled. I got to go into the McDo
nald's over the interstate. I walked up into the restaurant and stood at the window overlooking the interstate a bit disappointed. It lacked the magic of intrigue that I had set in my mind from childhood. It was just a big stupid building over a road. I guess when you want to see something as a kid it's best to see it when your a kid. I couldn't see the amazement factor of the McDonald's but after the Grand Canyon I guess it lacked to give me the enjoyment I had built up in my mind. I still want to take my children to see it and maybe they are what the experience lacked. The innocent view of the spectacle of the McDonald's over the interstate.The rest of the trip involved a scary and boring trip back to Kansas City to retrieve Brian's Jeep from the KCI Airport then onward home where we crashed down into our own bed to sleep. I would love to do it all again but with the children in reverse from the house to the Grand Canyon. I want to see the amazement on their faces at the view and the tears that roll down when we have to leave. Life is best experienced with an innocent lens of the world around you--take in the simple things in life you never know if you will ever live to see them again.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Things I Missed Out On Because I Was Born Without a Penis
I am a strong willed woman who has strong opinions on how women should be treated. Yet, I feel if I had a penis searching for a job would be a hell of a lot easier. I might actually get an interview then a job. I heard a woman on TV say the glass ceiling has been shattered but I feel that any holes made by previous women have been sealed shut and those women are walking around on the glass thumbing their noses at me. This made me think of all the things I missed out on in life because I was born without a penis.
Camping would be easier if I had a penis. No more bearing and sharing in the woods--I could just haul it out and take a leak. Hell guys can even relieve themselves into a bottle if they wish.
I could step onto a car lot and the sales person would automatically come to me because I had a penis which means I am assertive enough to purchase a car. In my relationship I earn all the money but I have to take my husband with me not to make the deal but to get a sales person to talk to me. I love it when they talk the car up big to my husband then to swoop in for the kill I shoot down their offer with my own. The good sales people will ignore the mannequin that is anatomically correct and speak to the woman who can weld and deal despite the lack of penis.
Every time I apply for a job it lists must lift, the ability to sit and stand, and push objects. This says to me: "Sorry, we are looking for an individual that possesses a penis and not a prosthesis that you purchased to feel like a man." I'm not a petite woman with a waist that could snap off like a match stick. I grew up learning to pull my own and according to what I've read and heard on TV I am an average sized woman for the United States. I can hold my own for the most part--I'm not a weakling. If a penis is what they want then it should say so in the ad. Screw the law let's just get frank with each other.
The penis does nothing but relieve the bladder, get erect, and impregnate. Why does possessing one get your foot in the door? Why--because if you have one your mind will not be preoccupied with baby crap. You will be able to walk around thinking of only yourself and not of the alien pod child that feel out of a hole. With a penis you can focus on work and work alone. All other people in your life disappear once you enter your horizontal transporter--AKA the man mobile--and head down the highway to the blissful job obtained from just the fact you have a penis.
I have missed out on pissing my name into the snow, getting higher wages for doing the same job, and being seen as a capable individual because I was born without a penis. The lack of a hideous cylinder shaped flap of skin has ruined my life. I could be earning enough money to support my family but I was born with a vagina instead. I will never submit to a sex change operation so I will continue to struggle on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
